Another day, I’d lived through another day. Damn.
My life was meaningless, I no longer cared if I lived or died, or more that I hoped I’d die, but such a thing was impossible for someone liked me. A vampire.
It had been twelve years, four months and eight days since she’s been taken from me. My Bella. Taken from me by Victoria.
Twelve years, four months and eight days I’d existed in anguish, knowing I couldn’t and wouldn’t die, it would kill Carlisle.
Alice had shown me proof, the vision of him, with red eyes and a broken soul was too much to bear, so out of guilt, or obligation, I didn’t kill myself, I didn’t go to the Volturi and ask them to grant my wish, to reunite me with my beloved, and if they had refused, I would simply have forced their hand.
But I wouldn’t, I didn’t, Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, Alice, even Jacob would not allow me to kill myself.
The Mutt had found it comical when I had encroached on his territory and asked him to kill me; he had refused, saying that it would be my punishment, to live, to endure living without Bella for eternity.
“You should of left her with me” he had growled.
The way he had looked, the emotions that had coursed through me when he said the words that I knew were true, Bella wouldn’t be dead if I had just left her with Jacob Black.
We had moved back to Washington six months ago to start the new school year, a new high school, a new town.
A town that was on the opposite side of Washington to Forks.
The town of Winchester held just under three thousand people, I found nothing neither intriguing nor interesting about it, this town was like all the others.
The people at first marvelled at us, stepped out of our way, the beautiful freaks we were, they spoke rumours and whispered about us but that faded and eventually we became the old news, just like it had been in Forks, with Bella.
It wasn’t good for me to dwell on the past, but as I lay on the couch in my room there wasn’t much else to do, I’d travelled many years to try and find Victoria, but the simple truth was that I couldn’t, she always evaded me, so easily.
And Alice was no help, she had snatched away a werewolf, Seth Clearwater, to block her ability.
I hoped against everything that she was killed, but it was a vain hope, I knew she had to be out there somewhere.
“Boo!” said Emmet dropping down onto the seat beside me, the leather of the couch squelching in response to the added weight ‘scared you again!’ he thought smugly, it was too easy for him to sneak up on me these days, my mind was always some place besides where I was.
“Hi Emmett” I said.
Emmett grinned at me, “Excited about the hunting trip this weekend? The bears will be coming out of hibernation!” he grinned already fantasizing about a massive bear he would wrestle.
“Yeah, excited” I said lifelessly.
Another camping trip to avoid the sun, what else was new.
‘I really wish he’d lighten up soon’ thought Emmett in annoyance, but there was a sympathetic undertone in his voice.
“Believe me I wish I could too” I replied staring out the window at the star filled sky.
Esme’s latest project was restoring this eighteenth century house, painting over the gray walls, remodelling some of the rooms and such, bringing the place back to life in a way.
If only all things could be brought back with a simple paint brush.
‘I miss her too! But do you really think Bella would want you to be living your life like this?’ he thought.
“Leave it alone Emmett!” I growled.
He rolled his eyes, ‘It’s been twelve years Edward’
“And not a day goes by that I don’t think about her!” I snapped.
He sighed, and got up, leaving me alone, I didn’t bother to listen to his thoughts.
How I wished I could die, end my meaningless life.
But as I thought about Carlisle, the only Father I had ever known, I knew I could not.
I could destroy myself, but I could not destroy him too.
Just then Carlisle’s thoughts interrupted me; ‘Edward, we’re getting ready to leave’ he called politely.
Inhaling a deep, un-needed breath through my nose I sat up, I was ready to go and pretend for my family, pretend I was fine when in fact I wasn’t.
What could possibly bring me out of this desperate hole I had dug myself into to?
“Cartoon horse, starting with ‘B’” called Annalisa from the front seat, her jet black hair shone in the sunlight, her pale porcelain skin was visible to me even though I sat in the back seat wedged between a box titled ‘Jars’ and the side of the car.
Annalisa was a beautiful women, she had flawless pale skin, pink full lips and bright blue eyes, though I suspected her to be at least forty, she could easily pass for a thirty year old, her looks were so striking.
“Biscuit from ‘Shark Tale’” asked Christopher from the driver’s seat.
His hair was mostly gray from age, but still had streak of brown throughout it, he too was forty.
He was still fit, and active, and able to do what a normal thirty-five year olds could do, the only sign of his aging was his eyes; the bright blue had dulled to a gray, causing lines and wrinkles to form around his eyes.
“No!” said Annalisa cheekily, smiling at her husband brightly.
This was a game the family and I played many times in long car trips out of boredom; the idea was to say a letter of a movie character’s name and what species it was. Most of the time we chose cartoon characters, it was funnier that way, but all movies were open for play.
“Bulls-Eye from ‘Toy Story Two’” shouted Skye suddenly from across the seat, sitting up straighter excitedly.
Skye had long, curly, white-blond hair, pale skin and bright blue eyes, she was incredibly beautiful, and unlike most girls who were as stunning as her, she didn’t spend hours doing her make-up, choosing an outfit, or carrying around a mirror.
She was my best friend, her up-beat nature was always fun, and we got along famously.
Though I often called her my sister, I doubted I could have a better relationship with a sister if I were to have a real one.
“She’s got it!” said Annalisa smiling over at her daughter fondly.
“Yay! Ok, Um, a cartoon fist starting with ‘N’” announced Skye proudly.
“Nemo” I said automatically.
“Bells! You’re not supposed to get it right straight away!” complained Skye.
I smiled at her brightly; she should have known better, Finding Nemo was one of my favorite movies.
“Now, now Skye, Isabelle won fair and square, let her have her go!” said Christopher firmly from the front of the car.
Skye pouted in mock un-happiness, before she turned to me and smiled impishly.
I smiled back in one of my sly smiles, “Rabbit starting with ‘B’” I said loudly
The car was silent for a moment, no one speaking or saying anything.
“Come on Maddi, why don’t you have a go?” asked Annalisa from the front seat.
Maddi was the youngest daughter of the Del’Evaga family, she was fifteen years old and had dirty brown hair and slightly tanned skin with grey eyes, she was sitting in the back seat with her lap-top sitting on her knees’ her head bent over it, ear-phones in ears, “Don’t interrupt my Orlando time!” said Maddi robotically.
She was watching Pirates of the Caribbean; her un-healthy obsession with Orlando was strange, and frightening in some ways, no one was allowed to bother her when she was watching anything Orlando Bloom related.
“Bumper from Bami” said Ben suddenly from the back seat.
Ben, or Benji as I called him was a spitting image of his Father, grey eyes and worn skin with untidy black hair; he was a bright, happy fifteen year old, he and Maddi were twins, but surprisingly they were nothing alike and didn’t actually like spending time together.
The misconception about twins always liking each other was proven to be well and truly false when it came to those two.
“Dude I think you’re thinking of Thumper” I said turning around in my seat to look at him pointedly.
“Oh!” he said, frowning slightly in confusion.
I chuckled and turned back to the front of the car, the answer was so obvious, my rabbit, who the answer to this question was named after, was tucked away in the back seat, snug in his cage.
I was in fact surprised he had coped with the trip from Italy so well; Skye had spent the majority of the flight throwing up in the toilet.
“Oh come on give us a hint!” bargained Skye.
I rolled my eyes, “It’s in the back seat” I said.
Maddi, who was now listening frowned and turned around in the back seat, “The only thing back here is Isabelle’s rabbit and her dancing shoes” she said pointedly.
It was then I was reminded why I was here, in America, to follow my dream.
My dream was to be accepted and dance in the best dance academy in the world, Julliard.
That was why we were in Winchester in the first place; it was a small town, close enough to New York that I could go there when the auditions were on, but remote enough that a family of Witches could go un-noticed.
The Del’Evaga’s were an old family of witches, there bright blue eyes was the marker of their kind, and while they’d been with me my entire life, they were not my family.
My name is Isabelle De’Marco, and I have dark brown eyes with olive skin and dark brown curly hair.
I’d grown up in Italy my entire life with my adoptive Mother, I knew my real parents briefly, but my childhood had been very… interesting to say the least.
“Hey Bells do you think we have time for a jam session once we finish unpacking?” asked Skye curiously.
I had expected her to ask this question; Skye couldn’t go five minutes without singing.
One of the many things that bought Skye and I together was our love for music and guitar playing.
Skye and I had a pretty similar taste in music, like hard edge stuff like Pink and The Runaways, while Maddi was into things like Taylor Swift so it was hard for us all to jam together.
But we always found a happy medium and Ben would often join us on the drums.
“Oh it’s on the tip of my tongue!” called Ben excitedly, a small ‘v’ creasing his forehead in frustration.
I rolled my eyes and turned back to Skye, she was permanently saying to me that if my dancing fell through I could become a professional singer with her!
I always respectively declined, dancing was my true passion, but singing and rocking out on the guitar for a living was something that appealed to me.
“Yeah definitely” I agreed earnestly.
“What could it be, what could it be!” chanted Ben.
“Oh for heaven’s sake! It’s Bugs Bunny!” said Annalisa impatiently from the front seat.
“But that’s the name of Bells rabbit” said Skye frowning.
I rolled my eyes and leaned my head against the side of the window again, attempting to relax, I had to help un-pack tonight as well as go to school tomorrow and do dance rehearsal, I wasn’t really in the mood for games, besides they’d figure it out eventually.
I closed my eyes attempted to relax.
I crouched down into the bushes waiting for the heard of elk to pass us by, Jasper and Emmett were either side of me, all picking out the elk they wanted.
It was migrating season, they were all plump and fat, it always made them smell more like plants, I longed for a mountain lion or some other meat eating animal.
I let my brothers pick their targets first, Emmett, the strong male of the heard.
Jasper, an agile female that would be speedy and may even pose a small challenge to catch, I simply chose the one in front of me, not caring.
I pounced in a very cat-like way, landing on the rump of the elk, venom filled my mouth as I sunk my teeth into its flesh, letting its warm blood flow into my mouth, its body began to feel weak, the animal was losing energy.
I quickly finished it and let the carcass drop to the ground with a thump, I turned to see Emmett throw the large elk to the ground in a way that reminded me of a wrestling move I’d seen on the television.
It really was quite primitive how Emmett chose to capture his prey, but I didn’t concern myself with him as I leapt onto another elk.
“So why didn’t Alice want to come?” asked Emmett as he sat down on a rock in a small clearing.
Jasper stood by a tree, his arms folded across his chest as he surveyed the clearing; it was where we would be ‘camping’ for the night.
“I’m not sure, but I think she may be hiding something from Edward, she’s been avoiding him more and more lately” he said.
“Must be something good!” said Emmett pointedly.
I sighed loudly from the ground where I currently lay, staring up at the stars, “I am sitting right here” I said loudly, I may have been thinking about something else and was hardly responsive these days, but I was still alive just like everyone wanted, it would be nice if they could recognize it every once in a while.
“Are you gonna try and figure out what Alice is hiding?” asked Emmett excitedly, clearly apprehensive about knowing about what ever Alice was holding secret.
“If Alice wanted me to know she would have told me” I said.
‘What good is being able to read minds if you can’t find out everyone’s secrets?’ asked Emmett mentally.
“It’s called privacy Emmett, I happen to respect it” I told him calmly.
“I’m interested to know what it is, what could be so important that she would keep it from everyone?” asked Jasper.
I shrugged, beyond caring, whatever it was it wouldn’t be anything important or have a remote impact on my miserable existence.
I woke with a start, sitting bolt up-right in my sleeping bag that was laid out on the floor in Skye’s room as mine was too filled with boxes to sleep in.
A cold sweat covered my face and I was breathing heavily, my hair sticking to my face slightly.
“Bad dream?” groaned Skye from her sleeping bag, I had obviously woken her with my abrupt and loud gasping as I was ripped out of my dream.
“Yeah” I sighed rubbing my eyes with the tips of my fingers.
It was a dream I’d had many times, and yet it never failed to scare me.
A man, with blond hair and black eyes standing in a ballet studio, the mirrors making it look as if there were many of him instead of just one.
He would attack me, throwing me across the room as if I was a rag doll, but then he would come, my golden eyed, pale faced angel, he would come and save me.
But sometimes, the copper haired angel would be too late and the blond man would approach me, smiling.
I rubbed my wrist absently, I felt as if I’d been burned there, and there was still the hot sensation, rather than the pain yet.
I looked out the window and watched the rain fall; the tree’s long finger-like branches scratch the glass.
I’d had these dreams all my life, they were always so vivid that I sometimes believed they were real, but they couldn’t be, I’d never experienced them, and the golden eyed angel was too perfect to be real, and he was in almost everyone of my dreams.
There for I had to conclude they were just that, dreams.
My mother had sent me to a counselor when I was younger; a fat, middle aged man called Bob who suggested I was too imaginative and needed to separate fantasy from reality.
Right now I had a firm grip on reality as I looked out the window, tomorrow would be my first day of school, a new country, a new town.
I wondered what the future had in store for me.