Lucy came back to the hotel later than expected. I was in the lobby when I saw her pull up with Gerard on a motorcycle. My heart clenched with worry as I saw her straddled upon that death machine! But it quickly ebbed away when she dismounted and was once again on the safe ground and walked with Gerard.
I eyed him suspiciously as he made his way back to his hotel room and I cornered Lucy, “Have fun?” I questioned.
She turned-a little surprised that I was there and nodded.
“Where were you?” I questioned.
She blushed slightly and looked back up at me. I wasn’t exactly sure when it had happened, but somehow I had become a surrogate Father to Lucy and she, just like a daughter to me. It was instinctual that I questioned her activities with an older man.
“He apologized” she said quietly.
Apologized? What had Gerard done to her? “For what?” I pressed.
“He wanted to know more about me” she said, a dark glint came into her eyes. Lucy was a private person and this alone I could see was the cause of her annoyance, but she continued, “but instead he decided to snoop through Ben instead of asking me” she rolled her eyes at the stupidity, “so he apologized”
“By taking you on a motorcycle?” I raised a questioning eyebrow at her.
“Yes. It was actually rather…lovely” She looked away with embarrassment and I then wondered what Gerard’s motives were. Why would he want to know more about Lucy? Why should he even care how she felt towards him?
My protective instinct flared. It seemed I had some investigating to do myself.
The next morning most of the cast was assembled so we could rehearse, ‘Dear Old Friends.’ Only Patrick had heard Lucy sing out of the group which would no doubt-bring upon some surprised faces from the others.
We were almost ready to being when I saw Gerard enter the set and sit down. He and Lucy caught one another’s gaze and smiled….interesting. I made a mental note to ask about this later.
But my first order of business was to find out why he was here. I approached Gerard, “You don’t have rehearsals until later” I stated.
He stood, “I know. I came to uh…” He glanced and gestured at Lucy, “to cheer her on”
“Oh? I wasn’t aware she needed any support-especially from you” my words came out sharped than intended. Again I was putting him in an awkward situation but I wanted answers.
“As a friend” He reassured.
I eyed him critically for a moment, he fidgeted under my gaze. I decided it might be better to let him stay so I could see how he and Lucy interacted, “Very well”
I walked over to Joel when we began the scene. I was distracted though, by Gerard who didn’t take his eyes off Lucy. Whenever Joel would stop the scene they would exchange a look or smile at one another and when the scene was over, she instantly went to his side.
Only this time he put his arms around her into an embrace.
The gesture startled me. I immediately began to feel concerned. The two of them were becoming very close, very fast. And I wanted to put some distance between them. I started walking over to them where they began to talk rapidly to each other; I caught only a bit of the conversation before I interrupted.
“Will you come to lunch with me?” Gerard asked.
Lucy was about to reply when I put my hand on her shoulder, “Lucy I was hoping we could go over some of the material. I need a second opinion”
She took in a deep breath and nodded. Glad of my success, I left them to part.
I loved Andrew, but he really did have the worst timing, “I’m sorry Gerry. I wish I could but-”
“Andrew” He understood and I was grateful, “It’s alright. Another time then?”
I was about to agree when he bent down and pressed a chaste yet light kiss on my cheek, he had done it so fast I wasn’t sure he had truly done it! Yet the place where his lips had been burned. And I knew I had not imagined what had just passed.
“I’ll be seeing you later then” He winked and walked off.
For a second I forgot how to breathe and watched- his finely shaped backside-as he walked away. I smiled despite myself at where my thoughts had taken me, shaking my head I decided to concentrate on something else.
I turned my attention on Andrew and followed him to his temporary office where he was having a meal delivered. I knew this ‘lunch’ was an ambush of his. An opportunity to question me.
Though Andrew was like a Father to me, I couldn’t talk about something to him when I wasn’t even sure.
He sat down at his desk and I on the opposite side. He folded his hands on the top and I knew what was coming, “So. You and Gerard huh?”
I looked at my lap and blushed at the thought. Could it be true? He couldn’t possibly find me attractive, standing next to him was like comparing a male model to well…me?
I am ordinary. There’s nothing special about me. Average hair, average clothes. What would he possibly see? As far as I was concerned he could have any woman. He’s charming, funny, sexy and unbelievably devoted. He’s passionate and deep and his voice! Oh god it sends shivers down my spine! Those eyes…!
I blinked as I was brought abruptly out of my thoughts. I looked up to see a sceptical Andrew and I knew I had to come clean.
“I…I’m not sure” I said honestly because I didn’t actually know. I could only hope and guess.
“How do you feel towards him?”
“He’s…” I chose my next word carefully, “Intriguing” I was stepping on eggshells.
“You are infatuated” He told me, “It’s plain as vanilla”
“I’ve always found that an inappropriate slur” I interrupted, “Vanilla is not plain by any means, it has more of a taste than say, cardboard”
Andrew eyed me in exasperation as he sat back in his chair as our food arrived. Though my stomach was in such disarray I couldn’t really eat.
“He likes you too” He said between a few bites of food, “Thought I don’t think he himself realizes it”
I snapped my head back up and narrowed my eyes, the news sent unexpected jolts of adrenalin to my stomach, “How can you be so sure?”
He shrugged, “It’s obvious. But honestly my dear, who wouldn’t love you?”
I smiled in return. Of course he would think that, the way he regarded me was ludicrous but sweet. After a moment the conversation finally moved on to music.
What was going on with me? Ever since our bike-ride yesterday I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Lucy.
Every time I heard a piece of music I wondered if Lucy would like it. I was constantly wondering what she was doing, thinking, who she was with. Though I summarized she was with Andrew most of the time I began to wonder if there was some else she would be with.
Did she have someone in her life? A boyfriend perhaps? That thought troubled me. She had been so friendly with that Ben fellow from Australia and they seemed to know each other well… but somehow that didn’t fit and I was pretty sure he had mentioned a girlfriend.
Who then? Patrick?
For some reason I didn’t like that. I didn’t like the thought of them being together. But why? I previously thought the two of them would be good together. Why did I have such a sudden change of heart?
My feelings were so confusing. Yet they had come on so sudden and so ferociously. Ever since I had heard her sing, Lucy had always been in the back of my mind.
More so than anything ever had been. Even Emmy.
Startled, I realized I hadn’t thought about Emmy for a while now. It was more a habit to think about her than a need anymore. Why?
As I laid down on the bed I put my hands to my eyes and groaned, hoping to make sense of my thoughts. But they continued to spin around and around in my head.
How did I feel about Lucy? Was she a friend or more? Did I feel for her the same way I felt for Emmy? And more, where had these feelings come from?
While I had the inkling they had been brewing for a while, only now had they come to the surface where I found myself wanting to spend more and more time with her. Be close to her. Touch her…
How she had felt when her arms were around me on the motorbike, when I held her hand to help her off the bike, she had such smooth skin… and how I had held her to me this morning in that hug. How I had the sudden impulse to press my lips to her smooth skin, which had resulted with me kissing her cheek.
They all seemed harmless enough in the moment, but now that I was examining them, I was coming to realize that they had meant more than I realized.
I was so mentally exhausted that I actually fell asleep.
I didn’t see Gerry for the rest of the day but I had to speak with him. I wanted to know what was going on with us.
When I got back to the hotel I knocked loudly on his door until he opened. He must have been sleeping because he looked dishevelled.
“Lucy what a surprise!” he smiled.
I motioned to the inside of his hotel, asking for permission to enter.
“Of course” He opened the door wider and I slipped in quickly and began to pace the room. Unable to make sense of my thoughts I needed to keep moving.
He watched me with concern but waited patiently for the news. Though it wouldn’t come…I didn’t know what to say because I honestly didn’t know how I felt-it was too soon, too fast.
The next thing I knew he grabbed my hand and I was helpless under his touch as he pulled me over to the couch and sat beside me but I only looked down at my hands folded in my lap.
When I didn’t reply he lifted my chin with his fingers. It was such a gentle touch, so loving…
“Lucy talk to me. You’re worrying me” he said.
I took in a deep breath and the words tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them, “Andrew is suspicious of well, us”
“Of us?” He asked, a small grin growing upon his lips. His voice was rough and so incredibly sexy… “What of us?” he questioned.
“He-He thinks we’re….” I nearly wanted to scream. I never lost words like this! Only he could do this to me! Those smouldering eyes, they were making me forget my senses. “That we’re….?” We are what Lucy? What!?
“Together?” He offered.
“Yeah…” I whispered.
He seemed to consider this for a minute; I could see the wheels behind his eyes spinning. Was he really having to think that hard about it? Because he didn’t know? Or because he didn’t know how to answer without offending me?
The later seemed more likely and I immediately offered him a way out by smiling causally as if I had been joking, “I told him he was crazy” I said flippantly.
He frowned and looked up at me, “You did?”
“Yeah” I said lightly, “I mean can you imagine us together?” I smiled trying to make this all out as one big joke.
He smiled in agreement, catching onto my joking tone, “Yeah it couldn’t happen” he agreed.
While his words hurt me I kept my painted smile in place, “We’d be like cats and dogs” I said.
“Oil and water” he supplied.
“Sand paper and ass” I smiled and he laughed, “you’d be the ass” I added.
He chuckled again, before he looked up at me, suddenly serious, “So was that all you were worried about?” he asked.
“Yep” I said as brightly as I could manage before I stood up. I was anxious to get to my room so I could curse myself for being so stupid as to think that someone like Gerard Butler could like me for even a moment, “I should go” I said simply as I headed to the door.
“There is one way we can test this theory” he said, standing suddenly his brow was furrowed in deep thought.
Frowning in confusion I turned to face him, “Wha-”
My words were cut off when he suddenly stepped forward and pressed his lips to mine. The kiss wasn’t gentle. It was hard and demanding. Filled with a pent up need and frustration that I instantly melted. I forgot who I was and where. Suddenly he deepened the kiss, his tongue entering my mouth and massaging my own.
His arms suddenly wrapped themselves around my waist, lifting me off the ground slightly as he crushed me to him. I quick moan escaped my lips as I felt myself getting caught up in the lust of everything and at each touch my mind lost its ability to think.
If it wasn’t for his cell phone that went off, I could only imagine where we would of gone…
We quickly detangled from one another quickly. His eyes were dark and both of us were short of breath, “I-I should go” I said quickly.
I wasn’t sure what had just happened but I needed to get out of there. I need to think. I turned to leave.
“Lucy!” he called, I looked back at him he looked like he wanted to say something but didn’t know what. His mouth open and closed several times.
“Answer your phone” I said simply as I continued to walk to the door. Even though I was leaving the ringing was irritating.
When I was nearly out of the door I heard him pick up his phone, “Hi Emmy”
My world came crashing down around me as I closed the door. How could I have been such an idiot? Of course I knew he loved her. I knew that and yet I let him get to me! I was so angry with myself I marched to my room with the sole purpose of finding something soft to hit.
I ground my teeth so much that it hurt. I was so blinded by rage, I didn’t even notice when I ran into Patrick on the way to my hotel room.
I was determined to find her.
If I hadn’t been angry when I saw Lucy and Gerard on a Motorbike, I was absolutely staggered when he showed up to rehearsals this morning.
I had been counting on that time to talk to Lucy, to perhaps organize some time for us to spend together. But it was impossible to grasp her attention even for a moment when Gerard was in the room.
As soon as a break was called I made to approach her, but she had already bounced over to Gerard and hugged him!
The way he wrapped his arms around her was possessive… I didn’t like it.
I had wanted to go over and step between them, to break up whatever it was they were doing. But Andrew got there first for which I was thankful. Though I could not hear what was being said.
Once Andrew left I watched the two of them with a critical and to my absolute shock, Gerard bent down and kissed Lucy’s cheek. It made my blood boil with anger and my fist involuntarily ball up at my side.
After that, there was once again no time to talk to her, as she was glued to Andrew’s side, the two of them communicating in that silent way of theirs over music and other notes.
So my only option was to seek her out after practice.
I had been on my way to her hotel room, when I ran into her, just outside the door.
“Lucy” I smiled.
She jumped, seeming startled to find me there, looking up, she seem flustered and annoyed. She made the sign for ‘hello’ before she continued.
Her head was down as she went to her door and she seemed determined not to stop, so I stepped in front of her, “I was wondering if we could talk” I said.
“Sure” she sighed as she grabbed her wallet out of her jeans pocket and fumbled around trying to find her key card, “you want to talk, talk” she mumbled.
She still hadn’t looked at me, and I was finding her distracted tone and inability to see how important this was a little frustrating. Her mind was somewhere else and I had no idea how to get her attention.
“Are you and Gerard together?” I demanded. I hadn’t wanted to dive right into this topic, but there seemed no other way.
She stiffened for a moment then sighed and finally looked up at me, her eyes still a dazzling green, “Patrick I really don’t want to talk about this” she said firmly.
“I don’t want you to be together” I said, looking her straight in the eye, my voice sounded petulant, but I didn’t care. I wanted her to know.
She snorted in derision as she turned back to her wallet, “Its none of your business” she said quietly, pulling out her key card she looked at me, “why do you even care anyway?” she demanded with a frown.
That stumped me. I wasn’t sure how to tell her how I felt because I thought she already knew.
She turned to her door and swiped her key card. If I couldn’t tell her, I would show her.
Grabbing her shoulder I turned her around swiftly. I only had time to register her frown before I brought both my hands up to cup face and pressed my lips tenderly to hers.
I couldn’t tell if she was kissing me back, her lips moved against mine, but that could have been out of disbelief. But I felt her step back, just out of my embrace, her back hitting the door of her room with a thud.
Opening my eyes I looked to see her staring at me with shock, similar to the first time I had kissed her in my hotel room, and like then she closed her eyes and shook her head.
“What?” I asked in confusion.
“Everyone just needs to stop kissing me!” she said angrily.
She turned around and fumbled with the door handle, I frowned in confusion, and before I could make sense of her words she had slammed her door in my face.