I woke up the next morning after my date and a flush of red hot embarrassment fell across my face.
In a fleeting moment all of yesterday’s events came flooding back to my mind and I had to convince myself, as I showered, that it was not a dream.
How was it that a man who could easily have any woman he wanted, be interested in me? It didn’t seem right but what could I say? It would be a lie if I said I didn’t have feelings for him as well.
It was a bunch of madness… or the makings of a great soap opera…
Grabbing my hand bag, which was stuffed full of notes on the movie, I left my hotel room, eager to see Gerard again. But I wondering how this ‘thing’ that we had would work around everyone else.
Surely they had noticed our absence yesterday and news travelled fast. It always did. It could be all over the media by now for all I knew!
I made it to the lobby, walking quickly in hopes to escape unnoticed. I had almost made it to the door when a voice called out to me and I froze. It was a voice I knew so well, yet this morning; it was the last voice I wanted to hear.
Sighing I turned around, putting on a smile to face Andrew.
“There you are” he smiled as he approached.
I smiled back rather forcefully. I knew what was coming.
“So. How was yesterday?” he asked pleasantly but still rather bluntly.
And there it was.
Andrew was like a Father to me. And I loved the man more than I could possibly say, but I wished beyond anything I could keep the events of our date to myself.
“It was good” I said with a nonchalant shrug.
It wasn’t like I lied. I was just… underestimating. The date was better than good. It was the best date I had ever been on!
But I wouldn’t tell Andrew that.
“Good?” he questioned, “Come on now. Tell me what happened?”
I chose my next words carefully, “Well…We went to the city, had dinner and saw a show. Then we walked around and that’s about it”
He raised his eyebrow as if expecting more before he sighed, “Lucy, Gerard has a… reputation” he said slowly.
I nodded in understanding, not quite sure where he was going.
“Did you two…” he seemed to struggle for words, but I cut him off immediately.
“No!” I said shrilly, with my face red from blushing, I stormed off to rehearsals.
I was embarrassed at the intimacy of the question from a man I considered my Father. But I was also embarrassed that I could have slept with Gerard. It would have been very easy.
And I was still thinking about it as I walked. What would it have been like…yet it couldn’t happen. It was impossible, in my opinion, to give yourself over to another person in body, without giving your mind first.
Well, I’d done it before, but I still held too many secrets from Gerard. Secrets I wasn’t sure I wanted to stay secrets anymore…
Andrew followed behind trying to coax more information from me but I wouldn’t budge. Not until I saw Gerard waiting for me outside of the studio causing me to slow my step and pause for a moment.
Andrew sighed and walked past me in apparent annoyance. He gave Gerard a slight nod which he returned and went inside. I was now alone with him.
Slowly I approached him.
“Good Morning” he said as he opened his arms for a hug but I hesitated and he frowned, “What?” he asked obviously concerned.
I took one look into his green eyes and melted, my feet grew minds of their own and I willingly stepping into his embrace.
He wrapped his arms around me and held me close, placing a tender kiss on the top of my head. It was a nice feeling.
He was silent for a moment and I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of being so close to him while feeling oddly content.
“Was it Andrew?” he asked suddenly.
I sighed and pulled back. Andrew was a part of it. I knew he didn’t approve of Gerard for me. Which was odd as he seemed to like him in every other aspect… but I wasn’t going to tell him that.
“It’s just that…somehow I find what happened yesterday to be” I tried to think of a word for how I was feeling “So surreal” I finally settled on before I looked up at him.
He seemed relieved, grinning slightly as he pulled me back into his arms again, “I’ll tell you what” he said leaning back, to look at me, his arms still wrapped firmly around me as I looked up at him curiously, “tonight, we will have a completely average date” he promised.
“Really?” I asked with slight amusement.
“Yeah” he smiled, “We’ll order a pizza and watch a movie in my hotel room” he said, “Your pick”
I couldn’t help but smile, “That sounds good”
Smiling he released me and turned to the door, pulling it open for me, “Come love, let’s get to work”
Feeling oddly, relieved, I headed inside, throwing him a quick smile as I passed. He followed behind instantly.
Today’s rehearsals were brutal. I had rehearsed both ‘Till I Hear You Sing’ and ‘The Beauty Underneath‘ both of which I would be recording a pulmonary track for in the next couple of days before we started shooting.
I was exhausted, but happy, now that Lucy was sitting on my couch, scrolling through movies on the television in my hotel room.
I had been insistent on that. I didn’t want anyone to interrupt my time with her. Which I was slowly becoming addicted to.
To her really.
The way she smiled. The way her green eyes seemed to swirl with so many emotions. The way she was always tapping some melody with her fingers, foot, or even humming it.
“Oh my god!” she called in excitement.
“What?” I asked as I grabbed the freshly popped bag of popcorn and headed into the lounge.
She was there, sitting on my couch, remote in hand and a smile on her face, “Brother Bear is on” she smiled, gesturing to the television where I could see the starting’s of an animated picture playing.
“You want to watch a kids movie?” I asked incredulously as I sat down, throwing my arm over the back of the couch as I did, wanting her close to me.
“You said it was my choice” she countered, scooting closer as she grabbed a handful of popcorn.
“Yeah but I was thinking something along the lines of The Notebook” I said, that was a typical movie choice for a girl. I had suffered through it more times than I cared to admit and was shocked that she had chosen something so different.
Lucy rolled her eyes, “Please” she scoffed, “Bryan Adams and Tina Turner composed the score for this” she said excitedly as she tucked her feet up onto the couch and leaned against me.
I smiled at the contact as I wrapped my arm around her- I should have known her choice would have something to do with music. It seemed to be a constant part of her, something I couldn’t quite understand.
All in all, the movie was actually funny and I found myself enjoying it. More than I would have enjoyed The Notebook.
“Oh I love that movie” she said happily as she clicked the remote turning the television off, she turned to me excitedly, “The first time I saw it was with my brother! We snuck into the Cinema and hid down the front and I was so afraid that we were going to get caught” she said happily bouncing on the couch slightly.
I listened to her with interest; this was the first time she had offered any information about herself willingly.
“But Peter he-” suddenly she stopped, as if unexpectedly aware of what she was saying. She stared past me, seeming to see something else, she became utterly frozen.
“Lucy?” I asked curiously, leaning forward I placed my hands over hers, that were resting in her lap, “Lucy?” I asked again, slightly worried.
Her gaze shifted and slipped, looking down, she seemed ashamed.
Leaning down slightly to capture her gaze I placed a hand on the side of her face, determined to have her look at me, she did, reluctantly, “You can tell me” I said quietly.
A deep sadness filled her green eyes, “No I can’t” she said just as quietly, she sounded utterly hopeless.
“Yes you can” I said determinately, “I know you want to” I said firmly.
She had begun to talk about something she never spoke of willingly, yet she did it seeming unthinkably, to me just now.
I knew she was willing to tell me, but it was whether she was ready that was the question.
Turning her head, she broke from my gaze and grip as she placed her feet on the ground.
For a moment, I feared she would leave, but she stayed where she was and I knew, she was deciding whether or not to speak.
I waited patiently, watching her with the upmost care.
After what felt like the longest moment, she began.
“My Father-” she faltered for a moment, swallowing she continued, “My Father was an alcoholic” she said, “And used to knock my Mother around” she took a deep breath and looked down, “it started as shoving but got worse”
She clenched her fist as she looked down, “One night, things were… different” she said frowning slightly, “I woke my brother and asked him to come down stairs with me”
I kept silent at my shock; I didn’t know she had a Brother! But something told me that it would not be the most surprising news I would receive tonight.
“We went to the kitchen and-” she faltered again, the words seeming to choke as she said them, her mouth open and closed several times before she closed her eyes, “there was blood everywhere” she said quietly, her voice choking with tears.
“Jesus” I sighed as I ran a hand through my hair. It seemed wrong that someone, let alone Lucy, should have witnessed something so horrible.
“I screamed at my brother to do something, but he didn’t” she said quietly, staring ahead now with dead look in her eyes.
Sniffing she continued, jerking her head slightly to flick some hair out of her eyes, “So I grabbed the phone and called the police”
I couldn’t imagine the courage that must have taken.
“Then my Father came over to me” she said, a glassy look coming over her eyes as she stared ahead, seeing something I couldn’t, “I was hiding behind the couch” she added.
“He came over to me and wrapped his hand around my throat” she continued, “and told me-” she faltered again, her voice choking slightly before she continued, “and told me that if I ever spoke again he’d kill me”
I shook my head, feeling utterly disgusted and enraged by a man I had never met. Leaning my elbow on the back of the couch, I turned to watch her as a silent moment passed.
“I was six” she finally said as a single tear ran down her cheek.
I stared at the small girl in front of me who, I now realized, was the bravest person I had ever met. Who had been witness to more horror than anyone should ever see, let alone at such a tender age.
She sniffed and continued, looking down again, “Every time I speak I’m afraid” she said, her voice choked with tears, that were now streaming down her cheeks, “I’m afraid all the time of-” she took a deep and shaky breath, “-everything”
A so racked through her chest as she stared down at her lap.
Seeing her in such pain was more than I could bare, “Lucy” I whispered, reaching forward I grasped her face between my hands, forcing her to look at me.
Her green eyes were filled with such a sadness when she finally did, her cheeks shining with tears that coated my palms with water.
As I gazed at the girl in front of me, I couldn’t help but be amazed, “You are the most amazing and bravest person I have ever met” I told her sincerely, speaking firmly so that she may actually believe my words, “And I won’t let anything happen to you” I promised.
The thought of her hurting in anyway made my heart ache. I needed her in my life and I meant what I said, I wouldn’t let anything happen to her.
She stared at me, as if searching for something, whilst seeing me for the first time. So intense was her stare that it caught me off guard when she pressed her lips to mine.
This was the first time she had ever initiated a kiss and I was more than willing to kiss her back, but there was something needing in her kiss. And incredibly vulnerable.
A small voice in my mind said that if anything was to happen now, that I would be taking advantage of her… but I had never met anyone like Lucy and I wondered how an earth I was supposed to let her go? Ever.
And with that realisation, it suddenly occurred to me that I maybe, just maybe, I could be in love with her. So why could I not be with her the way I wanted?
Her lips were as soft as velvet as I grazed them with my own. Her breath mingling with mine was like a drug, a sweet drug that I could not resist and only pulled me deeper into yearning.
I knew that I could not stop myself even if I had wanted to, I was so lost in Lucy.
Ever so slowly I guided her to lay down on the couch as I positioned myself over her, our lips never loosing contact in the process. My hands trailed along her arms and to her waist, clutching at her with a need to be close.
She shifted trying to get comfortable in an awkward position and I knew instantly that it wouldn’t be ideal here-like this. So, without losing contact with her velvet lips, I scooped her up into my arms, guiding her legs to lock around my waist, which sent a shiver of desire through me as I carried her to the bedroom.
Somewhere in the recesses of my mind I wondered why she had finally surrendered to her feelings but as we hit the bed, all I could think about was the feel of her body below mine.
With shaking fingers she began at the buttons of my shirt, working each one until she could push it off with ease. She ran her hands over my skin, which drove me mad. Being exposed and seeing her so clothed only drove my desire.
I wasted no time in slipping off her t-shirt to expose a sky blue bra beneath and her silken flesh now available to my touch.
I worked my mouth down her exposed neck, biting and tasting the sweet flesh and continued to work my way down. Her breathing hitched as I placed a kiss upon the visible form of her breasts. I looked up to see her eyes glazed over in lust and desire, they were begging for more.
Her hands flew to the buttons of my pants and quickly worked the zipper. I stopped her momentarily as I took an opportunity to do the same to her, quickly sliding and casting aside her jeans as she did the same with mine.
We were nearly exposed now, only a small barrier of fabric lay in-between pure intoxicating bliss.
I claimed her mouth once again, the kiss soon growing heated in anticipation as we both slipped off our only concealment.
We were bare upon one another and I could feel my desire pulse with an awful need, but I held back, not wanting to move to fast for her.
“Please” She begged in a panting breath as we pulled away from air, “Please”
That was all I needed.
We had wasted enough time in foreplay and our desire was sure to explode if nothing was done.
Ever so gently I slid into her hot core and groaned with satisfying pleasure at the feel of her around me. She let out a moan, gripping my shoulders, which only drove me on.
I began to move, feeling intoxicated by everything about her.
Her back arched and I slid my hands under her back to unhook the blasted bra, revealing a perfect set of breasts before my eyes.
My mouth watered as I claimed one peak, her back arching again in response and a sound of pleasure escaping her mouth.
“Oh Lucy” I breathed as I kissed the next, “You are so beautiful”
She responded by grasping my chin and leading my mouth back to hers.
Soon, the room was filled with a chorus of moans and exclaims of love and desire. We were both lost in gratifying actions, for hours upon hours.
We didn’t rest until finally the suns first light leaked through a crack in the bedroom window.
Pulling the blankets over our now cooling bodies, I pulled her into my arms and kissed her one last time until we both fell into a deep and blissful sleep.