In the morning I was conflicted.
While I was sure laying wrapped in Gerard’s arms was possibly the best feeling in the world, I was concerned about the consequences of what we had done last night… and the early hours of this morning.
I’d had sex before; I’d had a boyfriend in Australia briefly in my teenage years. But he never knew my story and I’d never told it to him. But telling Gerard… it had unlocked something.
It was freeing in a way, but also, disarming. I’d felt bare. Exposed. Vulnerable.
This morning I still felt that. But not in a naked way. More of a weightless way.
But I wondered how Gerard was feeling. Or more, how he felt about me.
Technically this was our third date, which I had heard from a lot of American T.V shows was the threshold for sex.
We had known each other for two and a half months now; he knew more about me than most. Surely he would know I didn’t do this often.
Well, I was about to find out as I felt him stir beneath me, throwing my hair over my shoulder I sat up to look at him, “Morning”
“Good Morning” he said sleepily, leaning forward slightly he pressed his lips to mine quickly before he fell back on the pillows, “Very good morning”
I smiled in spite of myself as I laid back down on his chest, once again listening to the steady rhythm of his heart…his hand began running up and down my arm soothingly, but I couldn’t be calmed.
While he seemed perfectly happy, I wondered now, what would become of us. Was this a one-night-stand? A moment of vulnerability on my part and weakness on his?
Or was this something more? The beginnings of a relationship?
The tension in my body must have alerted him because he sudden spoke, “Lucy whatever your thinking, it’s probably wrong” he said simply.
Sighing I sat up, turning to look at him as he leaned back against the pillows staring at me with polite curiosity, “Gerard… what is this?” I asked quietly, “What are we doing here?”
He blinked, as if expecting these questions, “Well, I’ll tell you what we’re doing today” he said leaning forward and grabbing my arm to pull me to lay back down beside him.
“We” he began as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer to his chest, “are spending the whole day in this bed”
“The whole day in bed?” I asked in disbelief.
“If I had my way you’d never leave this bed again” he informed me seriously, I smiled, “I have the day off before I go to the music studio tomorrow” he said, “And I want to spend the day with you”
I ran my hand over his chest, needing to give some sign of affection, “What makes you think I have the day off?” I asked, a mischievous note creeping into my voice before I could stop it.
“If you didn’t before you do now” he said simply, a serious yet playful glint coming into his eyes.
I opened my mouth to respond but his lips came crashing down on mine silencing any argument I might have had.
“And by the way” he said conversationally his mouth breaking away from mine for only a minuet as he manoeuvred to be on top of me once again, “I think the word you’re looking for is couple” he said as his lips moved against mine.
“Couple?” I questioned as his lips went to my neck and I felt suddenly breathless.
“Two people in a relationship” he said as nipped at the sensitive skin near my shoulder.
A smile broke across my face and butterflies in my stomach flapped for a moment before his lips captured mine again.
“Gerard” I said eventually as his lips moved to my neck again and began trailing down my body, “I’m hungry”
“Me too” he agreed as he ran his hands down my body.
I rolled my eyes, “I meant for food”
He stopped and looked up at me with an impish smile, “well that’s not what I had in mind”
“I can tell” I laughed.
“Hmm” he said with a mischievous smile, rolling off me and to the side, he reached over and grabbed the phone from the bedside table.
“What are you doing?” I asked curiously sitting up slightly.
His answer was a quick smile before he spoke into the phone, “Hello Room Service”
Smiling I fell back down onto the pillows with a delirious happy smile on my face. A light happy feeling in my stomach that I thought could only happen when I was playing music.
Once glance at Gerry told me I was wrong.
“I’m going to have to leave at some point” I told him seriously, Andrew would be wondering about me.
“Yes, but that will be a very long time from now” he smiled before turning back to the phone.
He made it sound like a promise.
“You have never seen it?” I asked in disbelief as I bit into a piece of toast.
Lucy simply shook her head as she sipped on a glass of juice.
After last night, it was physically impossible for me to let her leave. So I had ordered breakfast and, true to my word, we were spending the day in bed.
We had decided to get dressed, or more, put on underwear while we ate and I was questioning her taste in movies. Turns out, it was not restricted to animation, but to my shock, she had not seen 300.
“It’s a bunch of guys running around in their underwear, what’s the point of that?” she asked simply as she bit into a waffle, “Now Nims Island that was a good movie!” she grinned.
“Ok now that we’re on the subject of my movies” I said, setting down my toast, suddenly interested as to what she thought of my profession, “What ones have you seen and what did you think?”
She swallowed, “Well I saw Phantom, loved it”
I waited for more, but it never came, “And?” I urged.
“Well I liked Nims Island, Dear Frankie and Law Abiding Citizen… but” she hesitated, “That’s it”
I suddenly felt as if my balls had been ripped off, “That’s it?!” I asked in disbelief.
She seemed regretful but continued, after some hesitation, “It’s either an action movie or a romantic comedy and while they are nice” she said, that one word made me feel so… cheap, “they aren’t that creative”
“So your saying I’m a type cast?”
“Well, yeah” she said, “You don’t do anything different”
I’d been called worse by reviewers but coming from her, it hurt so much more because I wanted her to think well of me, to be impressed with me as I was with her, “Ouch!” I said leaning back in the bed, feeling oddly deflated as I sat against the pillows.
She obviously felt bad as she moved the make-shift picnic we had set up in the middle of the bed out of the way as she crawled over to me, “I’m sorry” she said with a wince.
I didn’t answer her as I looked away, feeling somewhat… unworthy.
“It’s just because it’s not my profession” she reasoned, “You can hardly think my composing or singing is anything fabulous” she said lightly.
Turning back to her, I held her gaze firmly, “Yes. I do” I said seriously, “I think it’s amazing”
That seemed to strike something in her as she stared into my eyes intently. Then an oddly mischievous smile crossed her face as she bit her lip, “Have I offended you?” she asked.
I sighed, I didn’t want her to feel bad for expressing an opinion, “No its-”
She didn’t let me answer as she threw her leg over me, straddling my lap; I promptly forgot what I was saying…
“Let me make it up to you” she said as she ran her hand down my chest, sending a shiver down my spine.
I quickly caught onto her train of thought as I ran my hands up her bare back before capturing her lips with my own. I quickly forgot why I had ever been upset in the first place.
In the last eighteen hours I had gone through an amazing disarray of emotions.
When I heard Lucy was going on another date with Gerard, I was concerned.
I liked Gerard as a human being. As an actor. But as a suitor to for my daughter, because she was mine as I was the only Father she had ever known, he was not acceptable.
Lucy needed someone strong. Someone who would understand. Gerard did not understand. That I knew. And I also knew that he would break her heart.
I’d started with concern, which turned to worry as the night went on, which then turned to full on anxiety. And, as the night worn on, anger.
When I heard the door of the hotel room open I knew exactly who it was. I rounded the corner just as Lucy did.
She looked absolutely elated, but as soon as she spotted my scowl, the smile slipped off her face.
“Hello” she said in a slight surprise.
I folded my arms in response.
Biting her lip she looked down and continued past me.
“Fun date last night?” I asked curtly, following her as she continued to walk through the hotel room.
“Yes” she said simply, not turning around to face me.
“What did you do?” I demanded.
“And this morning?”
She turned around to face me, “How do you know I spent the night?”
I didn’t. Until she told me just then, and by the look on her face, she knew what she had just revealed. Turning around she continued through the room.
“I don’t need to give you the whole ‘I’m an adult and can make my own decisions’ speech do I?” she asked as she went to the
“No, but I need to give you the ‘I can see when you’re making a mistake and I want to stop you’ speech” I said leaning against the piano and watched her as she began sorting through the papers.
“The only speech you need to give me is the ‘safe sex’ one” she said simply.
I felt my heart stop.
“I used protection” she added rather bluntly.
I groaned and let my head slump against the piano. While I had guessed what had happened between them, to have it confirmed was…shattering.
“Lucy he is not right for you” I pleaded as I looked up, “Do you read half the things written about him?”
“Do you read half the things written about you?” she countered, looking up at me.
But on the odd chance that they were truthful and the feeling I had about him was right, I had every right to be worried.
“Andrew” sighed Lucy, “Your my Dad. And your opinion means everything to me” she implored.
I could see it in her eyes, she was pleading with me to agree. To not ruin her happiness. I couldn’t do it, “I do not approve” I said stubbornly.
She sighed and looked back down at the music sheets.
I watched her carefully, “Does he know?”
She didn’t answer but stopped shuffling her papers for a moment and that told me everything.
Not only had she given him her body, she had given him her secrets. Which was far worse. And there was nothing I could do to stop her.
“Just promise me you will be careful” I pleaded as I rounded the piano to stand next to her.
Grabbing the music sheets off the piano, she turned to face me, “I will” she said holding my gaze.
Satisfied I sat down at the piano, her signal that she was free. While I wanted her away from Gerard, I knew that wasn’t going to happen, so I settled for her being careful.
But I didn’t have to be gracious about it.
Flipping up the lid on the piano, I began playing Wager piece- Winged Fury. It was a piece universally known to any composure, for being a disaster.
Lucy stopped and looked over her shoulder at me, “That’s immature” she commented.
I didn’t stop playing.
Rolling her eyes she headed out of the hotel room, to her own I hoped. But the idea of her going to Gerard’s seemed like a distinct possibility.